BOO

yeah...

Ok, so Sears is really getting on my nerves. I just want respect, hours, and a decent pay. That is not much. I leave my problems at the door, and put on a cheery face, and try to make lite of any issue that may arise. Deal with any stress, and become as nice as possible. I greet every costumer and deal with people as I can.

But then people are asses, not really the costumers as much as my coworkers and bosses. For instance, my boss comes and tells me that we need to attend a meeting in the morning at 9am, when my shift doesnt start untill 11am. He knew in advance but didnt care to tell me, or inform me earlier, as he did others... only the NIGHT before, and acts like I will bend to anything he says. No.

Then my coworker is constantly making fun of me for not knowing any "good" music, and having the worst taste in movies, and being stupid... he has even been making fun of me to MY fucking costumers! Its constant, at first i laughed it off, but it is wearing at me, and i cant help but cry about it.

Then my other coworker, who i look(ed) up to for months, and who i allways valued the opinion of really dislikes me, and outright told me that I suck in a resterunt in the mall. He lied to me as well, when he claimed that my Return rate was over 80% just to hurt me.

I am not a fucking puppet, I am not a high school student, and I demand respect! I am going to make peace offerings, buying them games or something and ask for less critisism, with the altimadum of having me as an enemy...

I wish I could quit but i really need to get out of debt, and I need some money for my upcomming trip. With moving downtown and all, this isnt gonna be easy... also no one is going to hire me for only 2 months when i leave the country.

certinty

I am not certain anymore. This house does not call itself a home.

I am not certain of those strangers in the street, nor anyone around.

Not anymore. I feel packed far away in a deep closet of mind, with my screams and laughs sealed off in storage.

I am not certain I am walking this path that I found on the map. I may be traveling so far from where I want to be.

Uncertainty seems the bittersweet sent of change.

My jobs, volunteer positions, home, family, relationships, friends, habits, sence of self, and my country drowns in it.

I am not even certain that I will come back from these places I will go to. I want to, but will I always? Should I always? Can I even? How uncertain.

Do I smoke? Do I drink? Do I belong to amarica? Is this me?

Do I know what is behind tomorrow? Even a blurred image of an idea would be a fortune right now.

"She said to me that love is watching someone die" ~Death Cab for Cuttie

I am having a very eventful weekend! Sunday I went over to my parents us 3 went down to Drawbridge Estate for the annual Purcell Marian Alumni event. When we got there we helped set up for the church ceremony and then got a bite of brunch with a coupon we found.. After that I decided to relax in the sauna and hottub for a bit before my cousins, Josoph and Olivia, arrived. When they did we went swimming for a few hours and had SOOO much fun!

We played Marco-Polo which was a compleat disaster as I kept tagging other kids!!!! AH! So we decided to play safer games where we can have our eyes open, like sharks-n-minnows and watertag. Unfortunetly they only sold junior earplugs there so once at the bottem of the deepend they imploded... causing much pain, and a possible ear infection again.

After that my cousins, aunt, uncle, and I  went to Montgomery Inn for my aunt and uncles 18th anniversary. We walked arround the building a few times while we waited. Julie talked me into getting the most expensive thing on the menu! It was really tasty but not worth 30 bucks and an hour and a half wait, so I kinda regret that move. The pina collada I ordered wasnt too great either.

After that we all went back and said hello to some old teachers. I introduced them to Joseph because he is going there next year. I got some free drink coupons from my grandmother which helped me relax even more. After a while I was on the dancefloor having fun with my cousins and father... we probably looked like compleat DORKS! Oh well. I got some nice pictures.

Then after about 2 hours of dancing and goofing off with the family I went back to Julie and John's room where we played war and watched Kronk's New Groove untill 1:30am!!! UGH! I was exhausted!!!! The next morning I got an early shower and relaxed with some coffie from one of the cafe's before anyone woke up... I feel wonderful right now. I HOPE ALL OF YOU ARE HAVING A GREAT MOTHERS DAY!